I am
by israelianbabe15
Summary: Zibbs. Gibbs is Ziva's knight in shining armor, because of reasons. Based on Bon Jovi's song: 'I am' ...


A/N: Well, I somehow wanna write something... but I don't know what... so I'm gonna leave open office open until I get an idea. (6:56pm)

So I went through my iTunes and I found this song... actually I've been listening to one Bon Jovi CD after another in the last few years (even if I find other artists I like, I always circle back to this flawless man... with this flawless voice... who seems to be really nice in real life)... - getting back to the point – So I was scrolling through all the songs I listened to most and I realized that I always wanted to write a Zibbs to this one, ever since I heard it for the first time... here we go:

Disclaimer: I do neither own this show nor the song. I do not make money with this story.

**I am. **

_How you spend your minutes are what matters  
All tomorrows come from yesterday's  
When you're feeling broke and bruised and sometimes shattered  
Blew out the candles on the cake like everything's a big mistake._

He had told her he loved her. Why had he done that? It did not even make sense to her. He was her boss, her friend. She had even called him a father figure once. However, no matter how much she had tried to force herself to see him as that, and only as that, she could never really forget the feelings she had for him.

Of course she loved him, but she always knew she would have to push those feelings aside, for the job, for rule 12, for her own emotional safety – after all, he had been married four times.

_It seems you always wait for life to happen  
And your last buck can't buy a lucky break  
If all we've got is us then life's worth living  
And if you're in, you know I'm in  
I'm ready and I'm willing  
_

Her father had always been there, financially. He had been the reason why her Mossad salary had been higher than that of the other officers, and even at times when her job was not enough to pay for all her expenses, Eli David had always had her back. It was his way of keeping her close, making her dependent on him, maybe even his way of making up for screwing up her life.

Now that she had become an American citizen, Eli had mostly disappeared from her life. Dropping by every once in a while to check if she was still alive would hardly qualify as being a good father, but Ziva did not mind that. She liked being free for the first time in her life.

This new-found freedom, of course, came with completely new problems. Eli had stopped paying for her apartment the moment she had decided to stay on Team Gibbs. She had still had the Mossad salary back then, being a liaison officer and all, but when she finally left Mossad for good, she was almost surprised as to how the rest of the world survived without money.

She had not been a spoiled child, but she had become used to the little help from her father, and was not looking forward to having to deal with it all on her own.

_I Am  
When you think that no-one needs you  
Sees you or believes you  
No ones there to understand  
I Am  
I'll be there to be that someone  
When you think that no one, is there to hold your hand  
I Am_

Her rent was too high, her salary was too low. She had been living in candle light for a few weeks before she was kicked out of her place. At that point, she was glad that she had not sold her car and that her priorities had always been on food and gas. Getting in her car, she had imagined what he would say, how he would react to her just standing there with all her stuff, but somehow she had not expected him to take her in without second thought.

She had only intended to stay with him for a few weeks until she found a cheaper place to live – weirdly, she had never found the time to look for a place in the months before, knowing she would have to find one. However, her staying at his house did not seem to bother him as much as she had thought and one night, when they had finishing up the spaghetti she made for them, he led her upstairs to a room she had never seen before.

'It used to be the guest room. Got really dusty over the years. Threw out the furniture at some point.', he had said to her, yet the room was fully furnished, sparsely decorated like the rest of the house and therefor plenty of room for her stuff, and it smelled like him.

'Went shopping with Abby. She wanted to buy a fancier bed and some decorations. Thought you would like to decorate yourself, though'

He had given her her own room. Her own room in his house, opposite the room where he slept. She would be sleeping across the hall from him for a very long time.

'Seemed fitting. You're the perfect room mate. You clean, you decorate... not too much..., you feed me, your food is really, really good.'

_We're just who we are, there's no pretending  
It takes a while to learn to live in your own skin  
Say a prayer that we might find our happy ending  
And if you're in, you know I'm in  
I'm ready and I'm willing  
_

They had quickly gotten used to the new arrangement and even the team seemed to be okay with it all. Just room mates – that was the agreement – nothing more.

He had gotten used to sharing his space with her, and it surprised him how easily he had adjusted to her, given that it usually took some time for him to get used to his other wives people living with him.  
Ziva had started opening up to him and with that came a completely new form of relationship for both of them. They could be completely honest with each other, which gave them both the chance to not only get to know the other one, but to get to know themselves.

_I Am  
When you think that no-one needs you  
Sees you or believes you  
No ones there to understand  
I Am  
I'll be there to be that someone  
When you think that no one, is there to hold your hand  
I Am_

He had held her when she cried. He had woken her from bad dreams and made her hot chocolate in the middle of the night. He had given her space when she needed it. He had been there when nobody else was.

In a way, he had become her knight in shining armor.

___And I ain't got no halo hanging over my head  
I ain't gonna judge you, I'm just here to love you  
I Am  
__I Am  
_

He had become the one person in her life who knew it all, who had seen her at her best and at her worst. That perfect man, whose house she had now been living in for over a year, never even judged her for anything. He had just been there for her, no matter what, never asking questions she would not answer or pressuring her in any other way.

_I Am  
When you think that no-one needs you  
Sees you or believes you  
No ones there to understand  
I Am  
I'll be there to be that someone  
When you think that no one, is there to hold your hand  
I Am_

Now he was telling her he loved her. He was sitting across from her on the kitchen table, holding her hands in his next to two cups of coffee, looking into her eyes.

'I love you, Ziver.'

_I Am  
When you think that no-one needs you  
Sees you or believes you  
No ones there to understand  
I Am  
I'll be there to be that someone  
When you think that no one, is there to hold your hand  
I Am  
_

There was complete silence after that.

She did not know what to do.

He was her boss, her friend, her room mate, her knight in shining armor.

She had broken eye contact the moment he had said it, but now her eyes found his again and she remembered.

She remembered all the times she had to keep herself from going to his room in the middle of the night to fall asleep next to him. She remembered the time he named the new boat after her and how beautiful his blue eyes had looked when he had smiled at her that night. She remembered how she would sometimes imagine them living together forever, though her room always ended up being the guest room again.

'I love you, too.'

The End.

A/N: God, I love this song... ugh... Jon Bon Jovi, you flawless human being! Come here and let me hug you! NOW!

Anyway... the song was Bon Jovi's 'I am' (as if you couldn't have guessed that already...). Hope you liked it! Reviews would be appreciated :D


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